8 Months Old

Here you are passed out in the car. Your head kept hitting your toy making it play a little song.

The hat is just too cute, Ava. You wear hats like a pro, you don't try to pull them off or even fuss about them being on your head.

This is an everyday look for you. You are a happy baby, in fact, everyone comments on how well-behaved and happy you are. We also get a lot of people telling us that you should be a model.

These jeans are sized 12-18 months even though you are not that old yet. They are so tight on your cute little thighs and tummy that you can't really sit up in them, but we love them anyway.

Ava,

Holy cow you are 8 months old and I almost missed it! We have been so busy moving to the new apartment and trying to get settled in that I almost missed this letter to you. Not to worry, although I am a few days late, I didn't miss it entirely.

This month has been an exciting one for our little family. We got our own apartment, no more room mate, and you got your own room! A big girl room for your bed and toys. A place to call your own. I have to admit, it is a little weird living in an apartment with 2 bedrooms, in fact, I accidentally walked into your room a couple times while you were away at Nana's this past weekend, instead of walking into my own room.

Before we started moving all of our stuff into this apartment I brought you here, just me and you, because I felt that it was important to use this opportunity to, once again, explain to you the wonders of God. We sat in the big empty space, as it rained outside, and held hands as we thanked God for our many blessings, especially our new home. I cried and you looked at me perplexed by the tears that stained my face. I told you that it was alright, Mama was just so happy. That seemed to calm your concerns as you immediately smiled and flapped your arms in the air.

You sleep so much better in this new space even though it is noisier here than at the old place and you don't use your TV to block out noise anymore. I kind of think that you feel more at home here, more relaxed, which brings joy to my heart.

Besides for the big move this month has brought on the clicking of your tongue. That's right my dear, you can now click your tongue like you have watched Mama do countless times. You love to click, click, click away. I also witnessed you rolling over front to back for the first time the other day, and you didn't even struggle, you just did it matter-of-factly.

I love you my dear Ava, my love for you grows every day. I am so happy that Mama and Daddy were able to give you your own room. It feels like we are finally giving you some semblance of normalcy, which, more than anything is what I want you to have. I want you to have your own room, food, clothes that fit and aren't tattered to shreds, a normal amount of toys, books, and that kind of thing.

Normalcy for you is also why Mama has decided to go back to school next year and daddy is considering it. We want to be able to provide for you some things that we didn't have growing up. We want financial stability so that you can have juiceboxes in your lunch, lunchables for fieldtrips, and every once in a while the newest and most stylish item, although, don't expect to have the newest and most stylish everything because that is not necessary nor is it important.

Know this, more than anything, Ava, you inspire Mama and Daddy to make life better. You inspire us to reach for more, mostly for you, but also for us. We love you and your smile tells us that you love us too.

Love,
Mama

Packing up our lives...

We are moving, like, RIGHT NOW. We are currently in the packing phase and tomorrow we will be in the U-Haul phase.

Earlier I took Ava over to our new place because I felt like I needed to spend some time in it while it was still empty just thanking God for the blessing. We sat on the empty livingroom floor and marveled at the space and clean carpet. I showed her her room, with her closet, and her very own window. Ava grinned from ear to ear the entire time like she could feel the joy in my heart.

I spent some of the time in tears. Tears of joy and relief.

We don't have a sofa, or even a TV larger than 13" right now, no diningroom table, but what we do have is a space of our own. A space to be a family in. We have room for Ava to learn to crawl and eventually walk. We have space to share our love. That is ALL that matters to us. Honestly.

Eventually we will add more furniture, but for now, our love and blessings are more than enough to fill that empty space.

Diet update and then some.

I know that I haven't posted about my efforts to eat healthier and lose weight in a little while, so I thought I would just post a quick update.

I have relaxed a little bit. I am still trying to be mindful of what I am eating and how much I am eating, but I haven't been playing human calorie counter lately.

Why?

Well, we are getting ready to move into a new apartment, our own apartment, an apartment that is going to cost us a little more a month. We are also trying to figure out a budget that is both livable and allows us room to put some money away for larger purchases that need to be made as well as an emergencies that might pop up. On top of all of that, I am going to start working out a way for me to go back to school full time next fall, which will not only require some phone calls but also some money.

With all of this being said, I might have to relinquish my strict diet because healthy food is expensive. Which, let me tell you, I could write a whole 'nother blog post about how crazy messed up that is and how if the government was truly worried about American obesity they would tax unhealthy food so they could subsidize farmers so that healthy food prices could go down.

Anyhoo.

So, while I am still being mindful and I have lost another 2 pounds without too much effort, I fear that I am going to have to give up my dry roasted almonds, Kashi Go Lean and fridge full of fresh fruit for cheap pasta and lunch meat.

Right now our finances are my number one priority because I am really excited about the prospect of going back to school and finishing my bachelor's and then going on to get my master's. I really think I can do it. I feel hope that I haven't felt in a long time, and I finally feel like I am going to give my daughter a reason to be proud of me. I am going to ensure that we will have a backup plan should we ever need it. I am going to make my mom proud and finish the one thing that I know she always wanted for me, a degree.

I thought going back to school was the impossible dream up until a few days ago, so I want you to ask yourself: What feels like my impossible dream? And is it really IMPOSSIBLE or am I just blocking myself? Then you should sit down and Google out all the details. Seriously, USE GOOGLE (or your favorite search engine) to find your answers.

I hope you a pleasantly surprised by what you find.

e3kc74hrim

Alma Mater

This is my alma mater. Well, it was, almost 3 years ago. Wow, has it really been that long?

So, I left almost 3 years ago, a year after my mother passed, before earning my degree, with the plan of returning after a year long break to regain my sanity.

Then after a year I wasn't really ready to go back, I didn't WANT to go back, so my vacation continued.

Then I got pregnant, and I had student loan issues that kept me from going back, so I am still on vacation, if you can call taking care of a baby and working from home a vacation.

But now I am getting ready to make moves so that I can go back. And I am not going to stop at my Bachelor's, I am going to keep going until I have my Master's.

I still have about a year until I can go back because of my student loan situation, but once I go back all will FINALLY feel right with the world.

Thank you Income Based Repayment plan, thank you!

Babies don't need fancy things.

For the past couple of days Ava has been playing with the lids to her bowls.

She has all kinds of toys that are supposed to help her learn and blahblahblah, but what she really likes are the items that aren't supposed to be toys.

She likes to suck on the remote. She enjoys feeling the buttons on my laptop click. She likes to look through the clear colored plastic lids to her bowls and then chew on their edges.

I am starting to feel like we could save a lot of money by saving empty containers instead of throwing them out and skipping trips to the toy store.

Are all the fancy baby toys REALLY worth the money?

I am starting to think that they aren't. I think when I am done with these sunflower seeds I'll rinse the container and hand it over to Ava.